John C. Waters

Rank the Fries

I ranked thirteen fry shapes and thirteen chains. Move anything that’s in the wrong spot, send your version, and see how everyone else ordered them.

Only here for the results? Jump to the leaderboard.

The case for this order is in Waffle Fries Are the Worst Fry.

The shapes

  1. 1A curly fry coiled like a springCurly
  2. 2Straight-cut fries standing in a paper cup with a red stripeRegular
  3. 3Three tater tots stacked in a small pyramidTater tots (or gems)
  4. 4An oval hash brown patty covered in shredded potatoHash brown patty
  5. 5A round potato smiley face with two eye holes and a grinSmiley faces
  6. 6Two breaded potato wedges speckled with seasoningJojos
  7. 7Two thick steak fries crossed in an XSteak
  8. 8A loose pile of short, thin matchstick friesMatchstick
  9. 9A plain potato wedge with the skin left on its curved sidePotato wedge
  10. 10A pile of orange sweet potato fries with salt on themSweet potato
  11. 11A tangled nest of long, thin shoestring friesShoestring
  12. 12Three crinkle-cut fries with ridged edgesCrinkle
  13. 13A round waffle fry with a lattice of square holesWaffle

The chains

  1. 1Burger KingRegular
  2. 2Taco BellRegular, seasoned
  3. 3Wendy’sRegular
  4. 4Dairy QueenRegular
  5. 5Arby’sCurly
  6. 6McDonald’sRegular
  7. 7Red RobinSteak
  8. 8Shake ShackCrinkle
  9. 9PopeyesRegular
  10. 10Culver’sCrinkle
  11. 11Nathan’s FamousCrinkle
  12. 12Chick-fil-AWaffle
  13. 13Five GuysRegular, hand-cut

The leaderboard

Every ranking readers have sent, averaged. A lower average spot is better, and the last column shows how far the crowd moved each one from where I put it.

The shapes

The chains